one of the most insidious things about depression is it doesn’t ‘feel’ like depression. even when you have it, you know you have it, you’ve been diagnosed—you still find yourself thinking, no, nope, this isn’t it, can’t be. it’s like the mental illness equivalent of that knight in monty python that keeps going ‘it’s a flesh wound! i’m fine, really! this is just a scratch, i’ll be up in a moment!’ even after all his limbs have been hacked off and he’s lying there helpless.
one of the most common narratives around it is that no one realizes they have depression until they start checking off what they consider to be normal aspects of their lives—and personal character flaws— against the checklist for depression symptoms. really key symptoms include:
- lack of motivation
- constant tiredness, even exhaustion
- finding no pleasure or satisfaction in activities they used to like, or that they know should feel good
- not seeing the point of doing anything
- increased and even unmanageable anxiety and fearfulness
any one of these symptoms drains away your ability to do work, cope with setbacks, overcome difficulties, or stop procrastinating. multiple symptoms create a pretty perfect storm of intertia and anxious self-loathing. you stop doing anything because it’s hard to get going, unpleasant while you’re at it, and afterwards there’s no reward. why bother, right? and when you’re always tired you get conservative of what little energy you can manage, and when you only feel emotions on the ‘empty to miserable’ spectrum you get really aversive to making mistakes. the whole mess very quickly and very insidiously loads every single thing in your life with toxic emotional baggage.
and then someone says to you— or you say to yourself, ‘stop being lazy’. and that haunts you forever. because you’re lazy! the work is so easy. everyone else does it. everyone but you, you lazy asshole, lying around all day not doing this totally easy thing that you should be able to but aren’t. you don’t have depression! of course not. mental illness is for victims, is for blameless innocent people who can’t be blamed for being so understandably sick. but you can be blamed. you have a character flaw, and it’s getting worse by the minute.
and that is how people who have been diagnosed, who have been medicated, who have been through therapy, can still spend all day hiding in bed and chewing themselves up over their failure to just somehow magically be a good, healthy, useful person, instead of treating themselves to a sick day and saying ‘yup! it’s depression. i need to be kind to myself.’
maybe use other people as reference? like the emma watson speech, the chimamanda ngozi adichie famous ted talks where beyoncé got her little bit in the song ***flawless from. and this image has helped me get the point across a few times when people say “equalist.” try using actual facts with ~respectable sources like university studies, or famous newspapers, i have a tag for social issues in general if you want to check it out (/tagged/isms) and also bloggers like albinwonerland post about it, and laci green does too so go to their blogs and type /tagged/feminism or /tagged/sexism and you’ll see a lot of great posts on it. i also love http://bellejar.ca/ and her twitter.
maybe use your anger too, talk about what causes you to be angry, ask why they aren’t angry with injustice, make them uncomfortable.
September 22nd, 1994Happy 20th Anniversary, FRIENDS!
if you think feminists should actually be “egalitarians” or “humanists” and that misandry exists and that feminists are just too angry and see things as too black and white and that men are not as bad as feminists talk about and that feminists shouldn’t really get angry and scream and should just explain things calmly to people who are not feminists bc “omgz why are you so angry no one’s gonna listen to you you if you just scream” or that it’s feminists’ duty to teach you shit instead of you getting up off your ass and studying them yourself you can unfollow me right the fuck now and never speak to me again bc i don’t need that shit
you will remember me for centuries.
no. drugstore has an amazing selection nowadays, you only have to buy high end if you really want to bc you like the brand or want to treat yourself; as far as results and quality go, they’re the same.
The Amazing Spider-Man meets Teen Wolf
Woven: Wait For Me » An MJ and Peter fan fic by Broegan & Mari
His hand lingers in the air for a fraction longer than it should, and he doesn’t take his eyes off MJ. Finally, he straightens up, still looking at her expectantly.
“You look really beautiful, Mary Jane.” He waits there for a second longer again, as if there was something else he wanted to say, but decided against it and makes his way into the building.
MJ freezes, a shiver crawling up her spine and she blows a piece of hair out of her face. She couldn’t deny it any longer: She had strong feelings for Peter Parker.